2008

Jul

Warch Watch
One Maasai, one buffalo, one beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Jul 22nd
Ndungeta :23: 17: 18 mincho oltau lino enguar ilaingokok...
Jul 16th
“That crocodile will not make it into the Kingdom of God.”
— Jane, after watching a...
Jul 6th
“It was the white man who discovered that the journey could...”
— Jane
Jul 5th

Have you seen this man?

Have you heard of a young man by the name of John or Jonathan Deane, tall and blonde, 23 years. He...
Jul 4th

A tiny feeling that this chap would be...

Am I to take it then that you are not amenable to facilitating my reporting on the subject? In my...
Jul 3rd

Jun

Warch Watch
A quiet five minutes writing emails. Click here to find out a little bit more about what the hell is...
Jun 30th
William, habari?
I'm good. Na wewe?
Can I see the internet to look at the news? I want to see if there have been any earthquakes since yesterday.
Earthquakes?
Yes, earthquakes and floods.
Jun 30th
Warch Watch
Action: Saruni. Words: Kimojino. Filming: Me.
Jun 29th

A Sunday at the pool in Kigali by Gil...

“If the methods seemed so inhuman, if the killers killed with such savagery, it was not...
Jun 26th

Stuff that you're expected to know...

“Is it really true that Jesus is going to come again?”
Jun 13th

Number One

You’ll never guess how much this time. 50 bob! That’s local prices. Well, local for...
Jun 12th
Warch Watch
Jun 11th
Warch Watch
Jun 11th
Warch Watch
Jun 11th

The US$200 Million Dollar Photograph...

The British Business Association, in conjunction with the American Chamber of Commerce and the East...
Jun 10th
Warch Watch
Aingorita = I am looking forPoints to those who can spot the fake Maasai. Extra points if you guess...
Jun 8th

May

Life, Death and Twitter on the African...
May 28th
Warch Watch
I can’t watch this enough. Beautiful in every way.
May 26th

Torching Porches

Hello, I need a tent.
What kind of tent?
A two man tent.
Where will you be using it?
Well, it won't be me using it, but it'll be used when grazing cattle.
Where exactly?
The Maasai Mara. So it's sunny but it likes to rain.
What about this tent with the porch?
Ah yes, that would be a good idea, as he can cook in there if it's raining.
Yes, with a good camping stove you could open up both doors for proper ventilation, and the ground sheet is also fireproofed. What kind of stove would he be using?
Um. More like an open fire.
I cannot, under any circumstance, condone the use of an open fire in a tent. What about a tent without a porch?
Yes, that's probably a better idea.
May 25th
Have you ever shot an arrow before?
No.
What? Are you telling me that you've never before killed a man?
Um.
May 12th
Kenyan wildlife ranger who can spot a leopard from three miles away blogs to save animals with the...
May 11th

Reading the land with Kimanjoi.

You see where it is making all of that shadow over there?
Yes.
That is a cloud.
May 9th

Apr

Warch Watch
Apr 27th

The Hard Sell.

What toothpaste do you have?
We have Aquafresh, we have Colgate.
Aquafresh.
With Colgate, there's a free pen... If you don't have a pen, now you have.
Okay, Colgate.
Apr 27th
Warch Watch
Maa Lesson 3: Key parts of your village in Maa (Maasai). Which ‘object’ didn’t...
Apr 23rd
I’ve gone to visit Saruni for a couple of days. Back soon.
Apr 21st
“My son was called John, but one day I went home and found...”
— Kimojino
Apr 20th

A number 1 all over.

Who cut your hair?
Dan in room number 10, did he do a good job?
Yes, very nice, how much did he charge you?
100 bob.
100 bob? That man is not serious, the price is 50 bob.
Yes, his excuse was that Mzungu hair was harder to cut and harder to clean up.
Next time you come to me, I have all the correct equipment.
Okay, next time I will come to you. How much will you charge me?
100 bob.
100 bob?
Yes, and I will give you a proper cut.
Apr 18th
“If you don’t have a cow, then you are just waiting for...”
— Mzee up on the escarpment.
Apr 18th
I’m reblogging my own blog posts. Brilliant. (via...
Apr 16th
“Okay, some of them are genuine, but definitely for the...”
— Conversation about IDPs in...
Apr 15th

Suddenly those salary sizes seem to make...

This place is dead, where is everybody?
They've gone to watch Kibaki announce the ministers and see who has got in. Everybody wants to know as maybe it's a brother or a friend of a brother.
It makes a difference?
Sure. Maybe today you are closer to being a rich man.
Apr 14th
“The children of our grandparents, even our parents, when...”
— Joseph Talengo Kipirir (born...
Apr 12th

Stood in the Blogroll

WildlifeDirect website has been down since last night leaving me twiddle my thumbs somewhat…...
Apr 12th
Apr 12th
Apr 12th
Special thanks to Hideo Ogihara from Weeds Corporation. You...
Apr 12th
The utopian solution - from Plato to Huxley by way of...
Apr 10th
“Here is my house. It has five bedrooms and I have only one...”
— Nairobi Journalist.
Apr 4th

Mar

14 months in Africa, and it's beginning...

Today I was sat in front of my laptop when the phone next to me started ringing. Kimojino then came...
Mar 30th

Lost the Mara?

As part of the ‘aa’ not ‘a’ campaign now vehemently supported by the rangers...
Mar 26th
Warch Watch
Learn Maa (Maasai) with Saruni. Lesson 2: Body parts.
Mar 25th

You will have to take a Kit-Kat Chunky.

Tell me, there are still no snickers?
No snickers Bwana.
And no twixes either?
No Bwana, no twixes. We only have Kit-Kat. And it's Kit-Kat Chunky. No four fingers.
So what am I to do?
You will have to take a Kit-Kat Chunky.
Okay, I will take it for a good price. How much?
100 bob.
But that is the same price as a Snickers.
We take the price of all the chocolate, and then each one is sold at an average. So you see-ee, all those times you have been buying Snickers, you have been buying them at a good price.
And now I'm buying a Kit-Kat Chunky at a bad price?
Yes.
So not only am I disappointed with having to choose a Kit-Kat Chunky, I now also have to pay a bad price.
Now you know, each time that you bought a Snickers before, you should have been more happy.
Mar 24th

Calling all bloggers.

Here is a badge for all you lovely bloggers to stick in your blogs. Here is the html code: You can...
Mar 24th
Don't call it cattle rustling.
Mar 22nd
“While you were away, the hyena ate your soap.”
— Through its regular use, a...
Mar 22nd
Warch Watch
After a few days in Nairobi getting this laptop fixed, I will in half an hour be heading back to the...
Mar 21st
“Just send 1000 via mpesa to my line if thats ok. my line...”
— SMS from a Journalist for the...
Mar 6th
“You know, I have some friends from your country. I have...”
Mar 5th

Feb

"Man caught is sexual act with dog"

It’s a shame that I left Nairobi just before things got back to normal. “Man dies after...
Feb 28th
Warch Watch
How to count from one to ten in Maa (Maasai). Along with appropriate hand signals.
Feb 25th

A Photo a Day

at Stood in the Maasai Mara.
Feb 20th

4 + 2 FREE GRATIS

Amir Bazarbacha is my favourite ex-Foreign Legionnaire. Not only does he encourage me to...
Feb 17th
Warch Watch
“Flickering candlelight cosy atmosphere, romantic background music, a red rose for the ladies,...
Feb 14th
Anonymous Vs. Scientology
Feb 14th
“Give unto Ceasar what belongs unto Ceasar.”
— Interview with Mungiki leader:...
Feb 13th
“Are you spending Valentine’s day with...
Feb 13th
Feb 7th

19h00: Stood Next to the Window.

A lot of gunshots here in Nairobi this evening. It actually sounds rather like fireworks, but...
Feb 6th
“If you cannot control your wife, how do you think you can...”
— Simon; Background.
Feb 6th

Stood in Denial.

My favourite taxi-man Simon is a Luo. Simon received a note last week, like this one, but he could...
Feb 5th
“I used to laugh at tourists buying maps of Nairobi. I bought...”
— The obituary of Simiyu Barasa,...
Feb 4th
Urgent Appeal to Save the Mara
Feb 3rd
    You can usually get on terms with people by helping them...
Feb 3rd
“The country feels at sea without a captain.”
— Leakey; Time Article by...
Feb 1st

Jan

US disowns 'cleansing' charge
Jan 31st
US envoy calls violence in Kenya "ethnic...
Jan 30th
Source: Nick Wadhams
Jan 30th

It's decided then.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to vote. It has been almost 24 hours since the poll was...
Jan 30th

Uncertainty in Kenya

Following on from comments in a previous post, it seems that I am still somewhat uncertain of which...
Jan 29th
"Stampede in Town"
Jan 29th
“If you take a bus to my home town Kisumu, they stop you....”
— Simon, Taxi Driver in...
Jan 28th
Possibly maybe.
Jan 27th

Disposable razors it is.

On Thursday, the NGO I am leaving managed to re-employ me for someone else. And for the same salary...
Jan 26th

...and we're back.

A prayer meeting was held in town today. When the police arrived the crowd got angry and the meeting...
Jan 23rd
Residents look at the body of a man killed during overnight...
Jan 22nd
A peace deal to end conflict in Eastern Congo is meant to be...
Jan 22nd

12:20pm

About an hour ago, trouble broke out once more in the city centre of Nairobi, around River Road.
Jan 22nd

Poverty Makes History

Sunday morning we left the rain, the riot police, the now ominous Kibaki Tena billboards (Kibaki...
Jan 21st

Nairobi Now

My favourite taxi man stayed at home towards the end of last week, and so each evening after work we...
Jan 19th
Full page advert in today’s Saturday Nation.
Jan 19th
Mud Spies in Kibera, Nairobi.From the excellent Rob Crilly.
Jan 18th
I am a Congolese from the eastern part of the Democratic Republic of Congo. That part of DRC...
Jan 17th
Sukuma Kenya
Jan 17th
Warch Watch
The taxi man said that Nairobi was calm today, no troubles. According to the international media...
Jan 17th

Business as usual.

Although just before midday, from our office (very near Yaya), gun shots were heard.
Jan 17th
Clashes in Kenya: New York Times
Jan 17th
“While reading through the news I was mostly concerned with...”
— Oh dear. Source
Jan 17th

4:50 pm

Roads leading to the centre of Nairobi have been closed. From the office window we have been...
Jan 16th

2:30 pm

Spoke to soon. Reports on the radio that police are teargassing demonstrators on Kenyatta Avenue. A...
Jan 16th
Whoever is in charge of the weather is doing a good job of...
Jan 16th
“We have two choices, either go to work or march on the...”
Jan 16th

Milimani Appartments, Nairobi

I borrowed a stack of DVDs and once bored of that I was going to read my book by the pool, maybe...
Jan 16th

Near Yaya, Nairobi

Riot police are scattered throughout the city. There’s a fire engine outside Yaya Shopping...
Jan 15th

Kivi Milimani, Nairobi

For safety reasons, office has been closed for tomorrow and Wednesday. Work plans inolving travel...
Jan 14th

4:00 pm

Couple of cars overturned outside Nakumatt.  Apparently calls for mass protest are for Wednesday,...
Jan 11th

3:15pm

“Small riots” on Dagorett Corner, Ngong Road. Fellow colleagues are leaving the office...
Jan 11th

Stood in Nairobi

There are strong rumours that ODM will ‘go live’ this afternoon, calling for mass action...
Jan 11th
Ushahidi - Report Acts of Violence in Kenya
Jan 11th
Lamu becoming a memory. Back in Nairobi now, and the...
Jan 11th

2007

Dec

Mara to Nairobi takes 8 hours. 2 hours in and the steering...
Dec 14th
Tracking Tourists in the Mara Triangle.
Dec 13th

Stood in the Maasai Mara

I’m not sure if being curled up between two rangers out in the open Serengeti savannah can still be...
Dec 12th
Japanese family stood in the Masai Mara. In the rain.
Dec 12th

Lying Down in the Serengeti

The rains have been late this year and we are now realising that we can no longer know our seasons. Is there climate change in your country?
Yes, our summers are no longer as hot and our winters aren't as cold. We used to have snow but not any more... Why do you think we have climate change?
It is the end of the world.
Dec 11th
“Will the UN really use force? Each time until now, when the...”
— Anon, Nord Kivu.
Dec 7th
North Kivu: How to end a War
Dec 6th
UN to join attack on Congo rebels
Dec 6th
I’ve been away for a couple of weeks. This arrived yesterday:To All Agencies and INGOs...
Dec 4th

Nov

Living in Fear: Camp Life in Congo
Nov 17th
“Even the door is missing.”
— Manga Mutaka blames pillaging...
Nov 17th
“Local eyewitnesses and field-workers say they have seen...”
— Extra Extra
Nov 17th
“In a press conference held in Goma on 15th November, FARDC...”
— OCHA; 16/11/07
Nov 17th
“232 children separated from Mayi Mayi forces in the Kivus by...”
— UNICEF Press Release
Nov 16th
“The real risk is what everyone expects to happen: a major,...”
— Joe Bavier, the chap from...
Nov 16th
“Tuesday’s events, when tens of thousands of Congolese...”
— UNHCR Senior Emergency...
Nov 16th
“We were not contacted. This accord does not concern us. We...”
— FDLR president Ignace...
Nov 15th
In Kigali, the Rwandan capital, The New Times, a newspaper close to the government, described the...
Nov 15th
“Ugandan troops clashed with four Congolese rebels loyal to...”
— Reuters
Nov 14th
“I saw the soldiers moving towards where the enemies had...”
— Reuters: Congo refugees flee...
Nov 13th
“Who will listen to, inform and look out for the rural...”
— Extra Extra
Nov 13th
“439 cases of cholera were suspected at the end of October in...”
— UNICEF
Nov 13th
In China's Hands
Nov 12th
“Kinshasa will detail a plan by December 1 to disarm the...”
— AFP
Nov 11th
MONUC: Monthly Human Rights Assessment, Sep...